Of Chuck and Portmanteaus

Chuck returned last night, and it was great!


A couple things of note:

1)I fully support the use of the Flight of the Conchords song "Foux de Fa Fa" in this episode.

2)Valeah and I are big fans of Strahotski.com, a fansite for Yvonne Strahovski. We're strong believers in the Celeb Name Portmanteau, and not the Brangelina kind. Valeah once registered the domain name "Mariska-Haircutay.com" but the site never took off like Strahotski has.

3)When I say Chuck returned last night, what I really mean is that it returned last week on Hulu, which is when I got these screencaps of Jeff's "resume", arguably the best part of the episode:


"I've worked here forever... 18 years and know where all the bodies are buried Ha Ha Ha"


"My co-workers have nice feet. I like to take pictures of them. And then [tell?] them.
CHUCK = [?]
Anna = [?]
Morgan = [75%]"

Dead of Sylar!

Here lies Valeah. Sylar was a good guy on Heroes tonight, and in being good, he killed Valeah.

It was just too glorious, and her heart gave out.

1984-2008

Leighton Meester, born in prison. What's with John Mayer's hair?

Saw the new US Weekly Cover at the grocery store just now! Leighton Meester's mom was a drug smuggler who gave birth to Leighton in prison. That's pretty scandalicious, right?
Valeah doesn't share my excitement.

10:29 PM Danielle: http://www.usmagazine.com/news/exclusive-leighton-meester-my-mother-was-always-there-for-me

10:32 PM Valeah: my only reaction to this Us Weekly cover is what's wrong with John Mayer's hair Danielle: WHAT?

LEIGHTON MEESTER

BORN IN PRISON

DRUG SMUGGLING MOTHER

10:33 PM Valeah: he looks like Johnny Quest

Dirty Sexy Money is like a Dirty Sexy dream.

Everything Greg Berlanti touches is gold. More on this in subsequent posts. But for now, Dirty Sexy Money.

Dirty Sexy Money was meant to reinvent the primetime soap. A modern Dynasty. Certainly, this has been done a thousand times, but we can forgive it. DSM has the perfect blend of O.C. self-aware humor, Desperate Housewives over-the-top plot twists, and Titans sprawling family intrigue.

(I promise that will be the last time I make a Titans reference. Does anyone remember that show?)

Anyway, Dirty Sexy Money. It's delicious. During the first season, Danielle and I watched it together each week, and yet she seems to remember about five minutes of it cumulatively. She doesn't remember a single storyline, which I guess is a symptom of watching a soap--every ridiculous thing runs together in a forgettable kind of way. But what I find more worrying is that she can only refer to the characters by the actors' names, and I'm pretty sure there are central characters she has no recollection of. It's...weird.

Here are some actual quotes pertaining to Dirty Sexy Money:

Danielle: "I forgot a Baldwin was in this show."

Valeah: "What's the main character's name? The lawyer?"
Danielle: "...Peter Krause?"

Valeah: "That actress is the woman Jeremy tried to seduce on Dirty Sexy Money. Remember, when he pretended to be poor, and parked her car, and pretended to be a starving artist and then later made out with Peter Krause's wife?*"
Danielle: "Uh...no. I have no idea what you're talking about. Who's Jeremy?"

Bottom line: Danielle is bad at watching TV. I am more trustworthy.

*I admit I have no idea what Peter Krause' character's name is either.

Rose and the Doctor

I've been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. Sometime around the beginning of series 1 (Okay, it was during The Unquiet Dead, 1x03) I told Valeah how much I love it when Rose and the Doctor are in mortal peril and lovingly gaze into each others' eyes.

Valeah told me that Rose and Nine were definitely not in love and she thought I was reading things wrong. Which is strange, because Valeah thinks everyone is in love. A week after this, I finally watched The Parting Of The Ways, the Series 1 Finale. Immediately upon finishing, I sent Valeah this e-mail:


um DEAR MY FRIEND VALEAH,
I have recently come to understand (while watching 'The Parting of the Ways'), that you did not in fact ever watch Doctor Who. I understand that, as someone who watches unhealthy amounts of television, you would want to cover for yourself, but please allow me to inform you that it is an OBJECTIVE FACT that Rose and Nine are DEEPLY, DEEPLY IN LOVE.
The other alternative is that you are both blind and deaf, in which case I commend you for successfully faking it, and even carrying on phone conversations with me for several hours every day, although it would explain why you mostly just spend them reading to me about stupid Christopher Meloni Nickelodeon movies in Entertainment Weekly. If this is the case, I greatly pity you because you will never see the glorious moment where Rose is about to die because the time-space vortex is filling her brain (to compare it to something you will understand, this is like when Jack O'Neill put his face inside that thing and then had all of the knowledge of the Ancients because Richard Dean Anderson was tired of being the stupid one [the "muscle," as Dennis might say.]) and the Doctor says to her the words
"I THINK YOU NEED A DOCTOR" (OH MY GOD)
and then pulls her to him and they kiss with all the chemistry of , okay, I admit it, all the chemistry of Veronica and Piz (and not when Veronica said "the fat fish", but actually when they kissed. Which is to say, not very much at all), but STILL, HE SAID "YOU NEED A DOCTOR." COME ON.

Love,
Danielle

Danielle and Valeah's Magnificent Television Blog

Valeah and I are moderately to extremely funny, depending on who you ask. As a part of our efforts to discern just how funny we are to other people, as well as a way to feel validated when we spend six hours straight talking about television, we have started this Magnificent Television Blog.