Confessions of a Chuck Bass Enthusiast

I watch like nine billion TV shows on Monday nights, and Gossip Girl is of the lowest priority, because it's awful. As far as I'm concerned, if the TV show Gossip Girl were a character on the TV show Gossip Girl, it would be Jenny in season 1.

That said, like most humans, I'm totally infatuated with Chuck Bass. Who wouldn't be? He's Chuck Bass!


(I tried to edit out his mullet, but I gave up, because guys, he kind of just has a mullet. I can't control that.)

I have a vivid fantasy about him! It's one that I think I can safely assume is typical of a Chuck Bass fan, because it's really the only reasonable fantasy one could produce. (That's right! I'm talking about my logical fantasies.)

I will describe it for you now so you can stop wondering what people see in this guy!

In my Chuck Bass fantasy, I'm in a loveless marriage with Chuck Bass. In fact, we basically hate each other. We probably got married in Vegas or somewhere. I only married him for his money, and he only married me to be spiteful toward Blair Waldorf, with whom he's totally still in love.


(Notice Chuck Bass creepily staring at her in the background.)

He would go off all the time and have intense romantic encounters with Blair, but they would always end badly. What's more, he mends his heart by cheating on me with every other woman in the city, and sometimes I have to find out, and then he has to buy me nice things, like $100,000 sapphire rings I would never wear. We'd be constantly antagonistic, and that's only if we can't manage to avoid one another.

This part might deviate from the norm (the rest is necessarily the standard Chuck Bass fantasy, and I'll go to the wall for that). Every night we have this really stiff, tense dinner together where we each sit on the opposite end of a comically long dinner table. We have this live-in chef who makes really dreadful dinners--just disgusting recipes--and the only time Chuck Bass and I ever get along is when we're mocking her food, dryly, right in front of her. But she can't quit because we pay her too much.



I WOULD LOVE THIS LIFE. Is it too much to ask?

Doctor Whobama

me: is Obama a big DW fan?

is DW a big Obama supporter?

Valeah: both!

12:39 PM

Valeah: Obama was like, "I love your show!" and DW was like, "Ah yes, that little stretch of time when there was a TV show about me! It was a long-running show by your standards, but fairly insignificant in the whole of human history. Not as successful as say, Pushing Daisies, which ran for 200 seasons, or Pushing Daisies: Chuck And Digby After The Apocalypse, which as far as I know, never ended," and Obama was like, "Contribute to my campaign!" and DW was like, "I can't, under FEC regulations, because I'm not an American citizen."

:(

Pushing Daisies Makes the World A Brighter Place

And not just figuratively. One of the reasons Valeah cites for loving the show is all the "bright colors and round things." And it's true, the production design is one of the greatest things about the show. One of the featurettes on the DVD's mentions the ridiculously high budget for building sets because no existing place in the world is pretty enough for them to film in.

Watching episode 2.01, Bzzzzzzzzz!, it's pretty clear where all of that money goes. The Betty's Bees set was incredibly intricate and impossibly cute.





Honeycombs everywhere! On everything!



The Ned/Chuck dynamic is, of course, the other reason to watch the show. They're in love and they can't touch, and what could be better than that?

Of course, because of that the climax of the episode had nothing to do with the procedural or the bees. It was when Ned flashed Chuck this adorable grin:




And just because it's the season premiere and I missed it so much, here's a bonus grin!